Ikhtilat. Pergaulan.

Mixing between men & women

Islam has restricted the relationship between unrelated men and women and only allowed it in certain circumstances.

This separation is established by the overall Ahkam Shari'ah (divine rules) addressing the man separately, the woman separately, and both of them together. It is also established by the Qur'anic speech to women as women and men as men such as Allah's saying:

"The men and women who give charity and fasting men and women, and the men and women who guard their chastiity and the men and women who remember Allah much..." [Al- Ahzab: 35] and other verses. Such a segregated type of life is also reported as the actual practice in collective form since the days of the Prophet and throughout all the times of Islam.

In Islam, the basic principle of the interaction between men and women is segregation. This means that in all areas of life and in all places whether private or public, contact between men and women is generally prohibited. Many evidences establish the principle of not mixing between the sexes, and there are many ahadith which clarify that this is the case in both public and private areas:

Abu Daud narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, "The best row for men is the front row, (furthest to the women's row) and the best row for women is the back row and the worst is the front row (just behind the men)."

Ibn Umar said, "The Prophet prohibited men from walking between two women." Abu Daud.

Abu Daud narrated that the Prophet (saw) saw men and women outside the mosque moving side by side in the crowd. He stopped the women saying, "It is not proper for you to walk in the middle of the path, you had better walk along the walls."

This means that the Muslims should avoid contact with members of the opposite sex, whether Muslim or not, as a general rule. However, there are exceptions to this general rule, where the mixing or interaction between men and women is permitted in certain situations.

For example, it is permitted for men and women who are Mahrem to each other to mix freely for any purpose that Islam permits. As well, there are certain areas where it is permitted for non-Mahrem men and woman to interact with each other, such as for the purpose of Da'awa (invitation to Islam) or trade. However, the type of mixing that can occur here is not free, and is restricted by the shari'ah to be within certain guidelines and boundaries, and the Muslim must be sure to understand these before any type of mixing takes place. The ahkam (rules) to do with mixing also vary with regard to the kind of place in which the mixing takes place.

1) Medicine: It is allowed for men and women to mix for the purpose of seeking medical treatment. The Sahabiyat used to treat the Sahaba and the Prophet (saw) consented to that.

2) Da’wa: It is allowed for men and women to be present in the same class if the purpose of their mixing is learning about Islam or other types of education permitted by the Shari‘ah. The sister of Umar (ra) was being taught from the Quran by Khabab ibn Arrat (ra) with her husband when Umar entered upon them. It has been narrated that Umm Salamah and Aisha (ra) who used to do da'wa to men and women.

3) Marriage: If a man is looking to marry a woman then he is allowed to talk to her about issues related to finding out about her and related to the marriage. A man came to the Messenger Muhammad (saw) to ask about marrying a girl and the Prophet (saw) told him to go and see her i.e. see her in her Mahram’s presence.

4) Duress or Compulsion: At times of absolute necessity or emergency, such as earthquakes, war or hurricanes, the necessary mixing is permitted for men and women in order to remove any danger or threat.

5) State arrest: The evidence for this is from Uthman and Umar (ra) said, "O women, cover yourselves we are entering" and he entered a house to arrest someone with his army and there was Ijma of the Sahaba (consensus of the companions) on this.

6) Eating: In Surah Nur Allah (SWT) says:

"The blind is not to be blamed, the crippled is not to be blamed, nor is the handicapped to be blamed, just as you are not to be blamed for eating at your homes, or the homes of your fathers, or the homes of your mothers, or the homes of your brothers, or the homes of your sisters, or the homes of your fathers' brothers, or the homes of your fathers' sisters, or the homes of your mothers' brothers, or the homes of your mothers' sisters, or the homes that belong to you and you possess their keys, or the homes of your friends. You commit nothing wrong by eating together or as individuals. When you enter any home, you shall greet each other a greeting from Allah that is blessed and good. Allah thus explains the revelations for you, that you may understand." [TMQ 24:61]

For men and women to eat together is permitted in the places mentioned in the verse such as the home of your fathers or your friends as it says, "You commit nothing wrong by eating together or as individuals".

However people should be careful that even though eating together with the women at a friends house is permitted that they should leave once they have eaten and beware of socialisation with the opposite sex which would be exceeding the permit.

7) Silat ar-rahm (maintaining the relationship between kith and kin): It is allowed for non-maharam relatives to sit with their non-maharam (people to whom marriage is permitted) for the sake of silat ar-rahm as long as it is without khalwah (privacy). There exist a number of hadith concerning the keeping of good relations with the relatives.

It was narrated by Anas b. Malik that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said: "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth, and that his lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith and kin". It is narrated by Abu Hurayra that the Prophet (saw) said: "Allah created His creation, and when He finished it, the womb got up and said, I seek refuge with you from Al-qatia (ties being severed with me)". On that Allah (swt) said: "Don’t you accept that I bestow my favours on him who keeps your ties, and withhold My favours from him who severes your ties?" On that it said, "Yes, Oh my Lord!" Then Allah (swt) said: "That is for you".

However it is not allowed to mix for the purpose of entertainment or just to socialise. For example the Prophet (saw) used to leave when Aisha (ra) friends used to come as it is not allowed to socialise with your sisters or wives friends if they are not related. Another example which is common today is the mixed weddings.

From:here

Wallahu ta'ala a'lam..